Ain't No Party Like
by Kitalene Crimson
Summary: Finn, Sam, Kurt and Joe play the ultimate destroyer of friendships: Mario Party! What will happen? Who will win? Whose dumb idea was this in the first place? This was a fill for the Glee Angst Meme, though I'm not quite sure if it's angsty enough TBH. T for bad language.


Ain't No Party Like...

Original prompt:

This prompt is super simple; the Gleeks of your choice play a game of Mario Party, also known as...

Fuck You: The Game that Ruins Friendships!

Those who have played know exactly what I'm talking about. This game turns normal, well-adjusted people into frothing buckets of barking rage. It will make you hate everyone you play it with for at least a few hours. At least one incident of physical violence is all but guaranteed (usually against a controller). Mario Party is the fucking Apple of Discord of video games.

Bonus points if someone painfully nice (like Joe, Blaine, or Mike) is the one who flips their shit the hardest.

Further bonus points if someone throws something out the window at some point (a controller, the game disc, a competitor, etc).

Super bonus points if they try to wind down by playing something calming... like Mario Kart. **"WHO SHOT THAT BLUE SHELL? WHO THE **_**FUCK **_**SHOT THAT BLUE SHELL?**_** I WILL FUCK YOU UP."**_

It had been going on for years. Every second Saturday, the glee guys would meet up at the Hudson-Hummel house to play video games. They each took turns bringing games, and eagerly welcomed each new player.

By the April of 2012, the group consisted of Finn, Puck, Artie, Mike, Sam, Blaine, Rory and Joe. Kurt would join in every so often, if he had nothing better to do. Of course, each boy had their own lives, so typically, only four or five were available. This time it was Finn, Sam, Kurt, Joe and Puck, and it was Sam's turn to bring the game.

The blond smiled as the boys watched him eagerly. _Damn, I really have a treat for them, _he thought. Sam had spent many an hour of his childhood playing it one-player.

"So, what have you got for us?" Kurt inquired.

Sam's grin widened. "Break out the Gamecube, I got us Mario Party!"

The synchronised swimmer was confused at the lack of enthusiasm. "Come on, it's awesome!"

Puck raised an eyebrow. "Kinda old-school, don't you think?"

"Well yeah, but what's wrong with that? Sometimes vintage games are the best!"

Joe nodded a little. "I say we give it a try. I've never heard of this "Mario", but I should catch up soon enough."

The other Glee boys thought it was impossible for Sam to grin even wider, but he did. "See, Joe agrees with me!"

Finn, ever the optimist, was the next to agree. "I kinda remember that game. It was pretty good."

Even Kurt agreed. "I guess it can't be that bad."

Puck looked offended by the lack of support. "Well, I'm not playing. I remember Mario Party, and there's no way I'm being sucked into that black hole." He left the room, Sam retaining his chipper mood.

"Well, we only had 4 controllers anyway."

The game began. Finn had taken Yoshi, Sam Mario, Kurt Luigi (ignoring the cracks about Princess Peach) and Joe chose Donkey Kong, still a little uncertain about the game. After the characters were selected, a map had to be chosen. After a long argument not worth writing down, they decided on Yoshi's Tropical Island. For time, Lite Play was chosen, as it was long enough already.

The game began as usual, with Koopa Troopa addressing the crowd. They decided turn order, with Sam scoring 7, Joe 6, Finn 3, and Kurt a measly 2.

"WHAT?" Kurt yelled at the screen. "I DESERVE MORE THAN A TWO!"

"Calm down bro, we haven't even started yet!"

"Do not call me "bro", Finn Hudson. What's next, "dude"?" Kurt's tone was icy, but as least he wasn't shouting anymore.

The game began with Sam taking the first turn. Kurt grumbled under his breath, but tolerated it. Events progressed normally with little communication... until the first mini-game.

The roulette had picked out a two-against-two game, with Finn and Kurt versus Joe and Sam. The roulette picked... Bombsketball.

Finn whined. "Man, I suck at this!"

Kurt glared at Finn with a crazed look in his eyes. "Finn Hudson, if you lose me this game, I swear I will rip out your intestines and strangle you with them."

Finn's eyes widened as he started the game.

Luckily for Finn, he performed well (a rare occurrence) and won them the game. Sam and Joe groaned as they lost all of their coins to the victors.

Finn grinned, pointing at the screen. "Check it out, I'm winning."

Sam scowled. "Bite me."

During his turn, Finn found a Hidden Block. He chose the ghost, giving him the opportunity to steal from another player. He immediately chose Kurt, who had the most coins (besides him).

"Fuck you, Hudson," Kurt grunted as Finn leeched ten coins from him.

The next mini-game was four-player, every man for himself. The game was Treasure Divers, where each player had to dive in the ocean for coins. Again, Finn took it away, establishing a 33-coin lead over Kurt in second place.

Finn beamed. "I rock at this game." He was met with three boys glaring at him, practically burning holes in his face.

The next few turns passed uneventfully, except for the chance event where Finn had to give up 30 coins to Joe. Finn was sulky for a long time after that happened, refusing to look at Joe.

Then, Kurt bought a Star.

Stars were nothing like coins. No amount of coins could put you ahead of someone with a Star. Kurt now had automatic first place, unless someone else got a Star.

This, of course, made him drastically unpopular with the other players. He ignored the scowls and stared at the screen.

This all changed when Joe got a Star, putting him ahead of Kurt. Now Joe was the recipient of the evil glares, unsettling the dreadlocked boy. As they scowled, Finn landed on the Bowser Space.

_**"NOOOOOOOOO!"**_

"Problem, Finn?"

"The Bowser Space. Look."

"Damn, you're so screwed." Kurt began to laugh at Finn, prompting Sam and Joe to join in.

"What happened to friendship?" (Excellent question, Finn...)

In the end, Finn lost 20 coins to Bowser, dropping him into last place. He ignored the laughter and paid up, blushing furiously the whole time.

"This game sucks," he muttered.

The game progressed rapidly after that, with numerous rising and falling, gains and losses, laughter and tears, and endless unfavourable language. As they played, the newbie Joe built up a steadily higher lead, accumulating coins and Stars like there was no tomorrow.

When Koopa Troopa predicted that Kurt would win, nobody thought anything of it. After all, Koopa was always wrong. In the last five turns, the four boys threw themselves even further into the game, screaming strings of curse words at each other when the slightest thing went wrong for one of them.

Joe was the undisputed leader, even after the final turn had concluded. He had two more Stars than Finn, who had second place. Finn had considerably more coins, but they were nothing to Stars.

The results were announced, with Joe grinning indulgently. However, somebody forgot to warn him about the bonus points...

The Game Star for collecting the most coins in mini-games went to... Yoshi (Finn).

The Coin Star for collecting the most coins overall went to... Yoshi.

And the Happening Star for landing on the most ? spaces went to... you guessed it, Yoshi.

Finn was now 3 stars up, putting him ahead of Joe and...

A picture of Yoshi came on screen, proclaiming: "You are the SUPERSTAR!"

Finn smiled and high-fived Sam and Kurt. However, neither of them noticed Joe's expression.

The young Christian murmured softly, "I was so close. I was going to win. I had it all, right there. But then, those STUPID bonus Stars and that STUPID Finn Hudson stole it from me."

The boy strode over to the Gamecube, briskly disconnecting all four controllers. He snatched them from each boy's hands, then opened the window.

Sam looked bewildered. "What is he doing?"

Joe threw the controllers out of the window one by one, trying to launch them as far away as possible.

Finn stood up. "Whoa, calm down! Maybe we can ju-"

"YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOUR GAMES! AND YOUR CONTROLLERS AND YOUR STARS AND YOUR LITTLE IDIOT MARIO!" Then, the rampage began. Joe threw everything within reach out of the window, even attempting to grab Kurt at one point.

The rage ended as quickly as it began. The furious red disappeared from Joe's face, and he ran out of the room.

Kurt looked at both of the remaining boys. "We have to go after him. Come on."

They left the room, in search of their friend.

While the rest of the boys were gone, Noah Puckerman crept up to Finn's room. He saw a completely ruined room, with the television attached to a controller-less Gamecube.

Of course, Mario Party was responsible. Noah had grown up watching his cousins play it, and knew it was a game designed to make even the calmest of people flip their shit because of it.

Noah knew what he had to do.

He opened the Gamecube, extracting the game from it. He threw the disc out of the window like a frisbee, momentarily enjoying the rainbows thrown up because of it.

He then turned his focus back to the machine. Noah pulled a disc out of his jacket, then placed it in the Gamecube, letting it load.

Mario Kart had to be way more peaceful than Mario Party.

Noah turned and returned to Kurt's room, where he'd been hanging. The Mohawked boy wondered if he could rearrange the furniture just a bit more.

When the boys had retrieved Joe and found their controllers, they were ready for an apology round of Mario Party. However, when they turned on the machine, a different game loaded...

_10 minutes later_

**"WHO SHOT THAT BLUE SHELL? WHO THE **_**FUCK **_**SHOT THAT BLUE SHELL?**_** I WILL FUCK YOU UP."**_

Puck hid under Kurt's bed, hands covering his face in disappointment.


End file.
